Poop Incident!!!!

Well one day I had my son all to myself while my wife was at work. Well I felt bad because my son had a diaper on all day and looked very miserable. Well being the good father that I am I decided to free him from the diaper. 15 minutes and everything is good, he is crawling having a good time. THEN, he sat down and started peeing. Wow I think I could have beat Usaine Bolt I was running so quick to grab a diaper or something. All I could find is a hand towel. I'm panicking because my wife just bought a new bed set so I'm thinking no biggy it will be dry by time she gets home she will never know. I throw the towel across the room and turn to grab a diaper and wipes. When I turn around my son is laughing giving me that face like ah ha I'm going to get you in trouble. He turns a little sour and the next thing i know he starts to poop. All I am worried about is the bed so what do I do. catch it all in my hand.ewe. Now I know it wasn't easy being a parent but catching poop in your hand was nowhere on the job descriptions. Let it be known once I cleaned my hands and those covers he never hung out commando ever again. My wife never found out either. I think!!!

Daily Trials and tribulations of Lamar

The life of Lamar Jiles is not a easy one. So lets talk, when I wake up in the morning(at the crack of dawn by the way)its usually to my 10 month old banging on the crib laughing. So then I try to kick my beautiful wife and tell her to get him because I'm still tired but no one is there. she left 20 minutes ago to work. So I drag myself out the bed, change his diaper get him dressed and get myself dressed. take a hour drive down the same country road everyday,(see some hay, see some cows, see some horses.) The worst thing is sometime the Amish people get in front of me in their hoarse and buggy and go so slow. Now I'm rushing to be to work on time. I'm in the military so you have to be punctual. Then once I get to work I am the food inspector for my base (sigh). If I'm not shutting down McDonald's its Subway and if its not subway its that same man who keeps trying to sell fried chicken out the trunk of his car, and he is in the military. Once a hard day of work is done I go to the gym for a little bit and dunk on people all day. I leave go get my son make my way back down the long road and hope not to see a cart and buggy. Once I get home I have to feed the little one again. Can't forget the splatter shield or else he will re-decorate the walls. I take a shower, eat and kiss the wife. Time for bed. I'm so lucky to get that 4 hours every night. Wake up and do it all over again. Signing out Lamar